


but they've never met a devil like you

by gaysanada



Series: Orville Peck Inspired Fics [3]
Category: All Elite Wrestling
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, fuckin PERISH. feel the pain., this one is gonna hurt yall i already know it. but honestly?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26591332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaysanada/pseuds/gaysanada
Summary: There were no more words for either of them to speak. Everything they had to say to each other had been said for now. They would, no doubt, have to discuss all of this further at a later time. But for now, they were both exhausted and emotional, and just wanted to be close to each other.(set in 2018 right before they left NJPW)titled from: roses are falling by orville peck
Relationships: Trent Barreta/Chuck Taylor
Series: Orville Peck Inspired Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913326
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	but they've never met a devil like you

**Author's Note:**

> one of the matches talked about for context (https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6y3bq0)
> 
> please leave a kudos and/or comment i really appreciate them.
> 
> i take requests on tumblr @ gaysuzukigun

The love and adoration between Chuck and Trent were undeniable. Everyone around them could see that they were _incredibly_ close friends, and teased that maybe they may even be in love. They’d laugh along with some of the jokes, even playing it up with the hand holding and hugging. But at the end of the day, they were just what their tag name said they were, _best friends_.

Trent was gay, which Chuck was more than supportive of. He had made homophobic remarks in the past, which he corrected when Trent came out to him. He’d tried to become a good ally, realizing the error of his ways... _sort of_.

Chuck was straight. At least, that’s what he’d always told everyone else. That he was a straight man who only liked women and no one else. But, as he grew closer to Trent, he slowly began to realize that maybe he wasn’t a straight man who only liked women and no one else. He realized that his homophobic ways were more actions of intense _self-hatred_ than they were hatred towards _other people_. And he didn’t like it.

He began to lash out at Trent, his moods changing dramatically whenever he was around him. Ranging from telling him he loved in post-match interviews to kicking him so hard in the face he started to bleed. But it would all build up to a tipping point. A match where he finally snapped and started taking out all his self-loathing on Trent. Day 10 of the World Tag League.

It started off as an innocent shove. Pushing Trent back to keep him clear of the _hell_ he was unleashing on Toa Henare. But Trent’s constant shouting of his name cut through the haze of anger and broke something down in him. He loved the way Trent called him ‘ _Dustin_ ’. It made his heart swell and his face break out in a smile. But not this time. This time, Chuck would hop up on the apron and find himself towering over Trent, silently threatening him and forcing him back.

Trent was confused, but tried to let it go. He watched as Chuck picked up a chair and disqualified them from the match. He watched as Chuck laid waste to every single person who crossed his patch or tried to stop him. And he watched as Chuck took off his belt and began to choke Henare with his belt, finally moving through the ropes to stop him.

Chuck felt a hand on his shoulder. They were Trent’s hands, which he registered somewhere through the rage-filled daze. That touch broke yet another piece of Chuck, and he lost control and blacked out for a second. When he came back into his own mind, he saw Trent sitting on the mat, looking at Chuck with confusion and fear. He knew this would be something he wouldn’t be able to just play it off and casually apologize for. He knew this would change their friendship forever. So he simply left the ring, leaving Trent alone and lost in his confusion.

When Trent confronted him about it, Chuck couldn’t bring himself to truly admit why he had done what he’d done. He couldn’t bring himself to say that this was all because of his self-hatred because he’d fallen in love with another man. If he did, he knew Trent would talk to him in that soft, sweet, concerned voice and beg to know who that man was. He’d try to find a way to help Chuck accept who he was. He might even admit that Chuck’s feelings were mutual. And Chuck wasn’t ready for that.

That soft, sweet, concerned voice of Trent’s did come to him, but it came in the form of Trent asking if Chuck was okay, asking him if they could talk, _off-camera_. Trent sounded understanding and sweet, like a worried parent making sure their child was okay. Chuck didn’t know what to do or how to respond. Once he and Trent were alone, he simply sat there, a stone-cold look on his face as he lied and said he was fine, that he just needed rest, that it was all just getting to him, and that he was sorry. The ‘ _sorry_ ’ wasn’t a lie, and Trent could tell that. Trent could also tell that the rest of it was a load of crap, but he let it go for now.

Of course, it happened again. Chuck found himself overwhelmed with emotions he wasn’t ready to address, taking it out on those around him and nearly hurting his best friend. Swinging an arm back in a blind fury, this time realizing who he was about to hit before the hit landed. He forced himself into a hug instead, holding onto Trent for as long as he could. He held onto Trent like Trent was his whole world, grabbing him tight enough it nearly left marks on Trent’s back. It felt like time had stopped, and only _they_ existed. It would’ve been a pleasant feeling if it didn’t _terrify_ Chuck.

Chuck found it even _more_ terrifying after the match when Trent confronted him about it. He told Chuck he was worried about his health and that he was scared. More painful, though, was when Trent told Chuck he _loved_ him. He didn’t say it the way they’d both said it in the past, with a goofy smile in a normal voice. He said it with a mix of concern and fear in his eyes, his voice somewhat accusatory, yet still mixed with that sweet softness Chuck loved. That made it worse.

It continued for a while. Chuck continuously snapping and throwing a hit at Trent, and Trent _refusing_ to leave his side. Rocky would occasionally turn on Chuck’s anger, with the way he touched and spoke to Trent. 

It ended soon after that. Chuck lost control and took it out on Juice Robinson. The next day, Trent confronted him about it.

Chuck was standing in their hotel bathroom, the door shut. He could hear the muffled voices of Rocky and Trent on the other side. _Hushed_ and _urgent_ tones in their voices, but their words garbled and unintelligible through the door. Even more so through the sound of Chuck’s own heart pounding in his ears. 

He heard the voices fade away, both in his mind and in reality. He faintly heard the hotel door open and shut, and he figured Rocky and Trent had left. 

His eyes met his own in the mirror. The world was fuzzy around his reflection, and his face looked distorted. He barely recognized himself. His eyes were manic and full of both _terror_ and _fear_. Nothing in his soul felt right. He couldn’t tell if he was about to throw up or pass out. Or maybe it was both?

A knock on the bathroom door pulled him out of the intense focus he had on himself but didn’t end the ever-rising pace in his chest.

“Chuck? Are you okay?”

Chuck knew that voice. It was soft and sweet and concerned, yet had an edge to it. Slight underlying fear working its way through each syllable. Trent was worried about him, but he couldn’t force any words out to respond. His chest was tight, and it felt like someone was choking him.

There was a pause. Chuck could almost see Trent’s hand hovering to knock on the door. He could see the look of worry spread across his face as he tried to speak again.

“I’m just worried about you, _Dustin_. You’ve been acting real weird lately. I know you keep saying you’re fine and that you’re just tired and shit, but it’s getting pretty bad. I know you’re lying to me about some of it. I’m just,”

There was another pause. Chuck wanted to open the door for Trent and explain himself, but he truly couldn’t do it. He found himself sitting on the floor, his long legs crossed in front of him as he stared at his shaking hands and listened to see if Trent would speak again.

The door handle turned, and Chuck barely registered in the back of his mind that it didn’t have a lock. Trent seemed to take a moment to be surprised by the door just opening, and then his eyes fell on Chuck.

Chuck’s eyes filled with tears at the sight of Trent. He knew Trent would look worried, but he wasn’t prepared for it. Eyebrows pushed together and his bottom lip between his teeth. 

Chuck barely saw Trent move, but he was suddenly sitting next to him on the floor, hands over his own. Neither of them made any attempt to speak for a second, waiting to see if the other would. Finally, Chuck opened his mouth to say something but found his lungs completely devoid of air. Trent seemed to notice this.

“Just nod or something. Anything, _Dustin_. I just gotta know if you’re okay,” Trent said quietly, gently squeezing Chuck’s hand. 

The small show of affection and concern sent a spark to Chuck’s brain. If it wasn’t for his own fear of himself, he would’ve broken down and admitted everything at that moment. But instead, he pulled his hands away. He recoiled into himself, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs, holding himself in a ball, trying to keep his eyes off of Trent as he finally found the air to speak.

“Please leave, Trent.”

Trent seemed shocked at the sudden movement and speech but didn’t move from his spot beside Chuck, trying to put his hand on Chuck’s knee.

“Leave, _Greg! Get out!_ ” Chuck shouted, still curled in a ball, his voice wavering as he spoke, threatening to break as tears spilled down his cheeks.

Trent stood up and nodded, walking out of the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. Chuck knew he wouldn’t leave completely though, and he heard shuffling outside of the door as Trent sat down on the other side.

Chuck didn’t notice it, but a sob shook his body. His hands curled into fists as his chest heaved, the air once again leaving his body as his mind begged for some kind of help. He didn’t want to hate himself for the way he was.

He sat for a long time, knees tightly against his chest, and head down resting against them. Slowly, his heart slowed back down, and the fresh tears stopped, leaving old ones to dry against his cheeks. His body gradually relaxed, as did his mind. He began to wonder if Trent was still outside the door and if their relationship was fixable.

His mouth opened, a near-silent ‘ _Trent?_ ’ leaving him. It wasn’t loud enough.

He cleared his throat and took a slow, steady breath, “ _Greg?_ ”

He heard a shuffle, and the doorknob started to turn.

“ _Don’t open it!_ ”

The knob stopped.

“I just, uh, you can’t look at me, _please_. I just need you to stay out there, but listen,” Chuck’s voice was soft, and he sniffled. Trent stayed quiet, but he heard one of his hands touch the door gently.

Chuck paused, trying to pull the feelings in his heart and turn them into proper words.

“ _Dustin?_ ” the voice on the other side was gentle and understanding. Chuck felt a pang of guilt run through him for doing all of this to Trent.

“I love you,” Chuck finally said, his voice hushed as if he’d just shared some terrible secret.

“Well, yeah, I love you too,” Trent replied.

Chuck shook his head, his hands clenching back up into fists for a moment before he relaxed again. _He needed to open the door._

He stood slowly, not sure if his legs would hold his weight. His knees felt weak, and his height worked against him as he swayed gently before grabbing the counter to stabilize himself. After another moment of slow breathing, he placed his hand on the doorknob, and he heard a shuffle outside. Trent was moving.

He turned the knob, taking what felt like years to open the door a crack, eyes closed so as not to meet Trent’s.

He opened his eyes, seeing that Trent had stood up. He stared at the floor, pulling the words together in this mind for a moment, wondering if he really was about to speak them into existence. 

“ _No_ , I know you say that all the time. I know I say that all the time. But that’s not what I mean,” Chuck sniffled and took another deep breath, “I mean, _I’m in love with you_. And I just...I hate myself for it. I know you’re gay, and you- you’re out and you’re proud and happy and shit. I guess I’m fuckin’,” Chuck thought of the word for a second, “ _bisexual_? I guess? But I hate it. It feels wrong to me. It feels like a really shitty, terrible thing and I hate myself over it. And I’m in love with you, and I hate myself for that too.”

They stood in silence now, Chuck breathing a bit erratically as Trent stood in disbelief.

Trent tried to process the words. Chuck was in love with him? Chuck was bisexual? He was...bisexual _**and**_ in love with him? It didn’t feel real. But, as he slowly allowed himself to believe it, everything about the past few months began to make a bit of sense to him. All of this - Chuck snapping and attacking people, his moods changing from moment to moment, the way he looked at Trent with a mix of love and loathing - it made sense to him. _Chuck loved him_.

Neither of them spoke. Trent slowly nodded, trying to find the words to form a response. Sure, he’d considered Chuck as a romantic interest when they first met in 2014, but as Chuck made it more and more clear that he was straight, Trent adjusted his feelings as best he could. It wasn’t perfect, but he’d repressed his romantic feelings for Chuck into a little box and relabeled it ‘ _friendship_ ’ and tried to move on. Now that box was open and everything was rushing out in the worst way possible. 

Chuck grew nervous at Trent’s silence, his quickened heart rate returning as the fear began to overtake him. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. What if he’d ruined everything now? At least before his confession, Trent still spoke to him. But now he was silent and it was all falling down around Chuck. He was terrified.

“Please say something. Literally just... _anything_ ,” Chuck mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut for a second to try and fight off the tears threatening to return.

Trent opened and shut his mouth a few times, considering his words carefully as they raced through him, “I...I _used_ to be in love with you. But I thought- I mean, you told me you-” Trent began to lose his words as he saw Chuck’s face. He sighed heavily, looking down, “you told me you were _straight_ , so I convinced myself we were just friends. I don’t know how I feel right now.”

Chuck nodded now, a few tears spilling over and making their path down his face as he nodded, “No that’s...that’s reasonable. I’ve told you for years that I was straight, you’re right. I just uh, I needed to tell you.”

Chuck gently moved past Trent and out of the bathroom before pausing and glancing over his shoulder, “And I’m sorry about the way I’ve been acting, and the way I’ve been treating you. I’ve never had to deal with any of this before.”

With that, Chuck stepped out of the hotel room completely, legs moving down an automatic path that his brain barely registered. He heard the door open again a moment after he’d shut it, and he could feel Trent’s eyes on him as he walked away.

He was torn as to where to go, knowing that his closest friend in New Japan was _Trent_. Along with that, he’d been pretty rude to everyone lately, and doubted that anyone would want to see him, especially in this state.

He ended up in Rocky’s room after he suddenly opened the door. He spoke at his usual quick pace, saying something about how worried he and Trent had been, and making a quick mention of a text he’d just received from Trent. He pulled Chuck in, not giving him a moment to refuse. 

The night passed in a haze, and all Chuck would really remember was laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling, his breath uneven and heavy. Rocky had tried to pull words out of him a few times, but he just shook his head with each attempt, silently telling Rocky that he didn’t have anything to say.

The morning came and Chuck felt frozen. Not in the sense that he was cold, more he physically found himself unable to move from his spot. He didn’t know if it was the fear of further rejection or the sadness from the words Trent had said to him before.

There was a knock at the door, which Rocky jumped up to answer. Chuck heard him say ‘ _Trent_ ,’ sending a dull spark through Chuck’s body, prompting jagged, stiff movements from him, forcing him to sit up. He wanted to run and hide but knew he wouldn’t be able to stand.

Trent came in, and Rocky left the room, making a quick joke about how Chuck and Trent were stealing his hotel room. Trent apologized, and Rocky shook it off. Though, none of that really registered in Chuck’s head. It was simply happening in front of him.

Trent sat down next to Chuck, his movements similar to the way Chuck had moved. _Stiff_ , almost robotic.

“How ya feeling?” Trent asked gently, staring directly ahead of him at the wall.

Chuck shrugged, time still moving in an unreal way to him.

“Did you sleep on the floor?” Trent had that concerned voice again, though his face didn’t show it the same way it had the day before.

Chuck nodded, “Sorta,” he didn’t mention the fact that he hadn’t _actually_ slept.

Trent shook his head “Not good for your back,” he mumbled, pressing against the floor gently with his hands. 

“Didn’t really notice much,” Chuck responded in his own mumble, his voice weak in his throat.

Trent didn’t respond to that, instead changing the topic, “Thought about what you said yesterday.”

Chuck nodded, the sound of his heartbeat returning to his ears as he prepared for pain.

“I wouldn’t have put up with you for this long if I didn’t really, really care about you. You’re my _best friend_ ,” Trent started. Chuck scoffed quietly at the term.

“ _ **But**_ ,” Trent continued, turning to look at Chuck, “I’ve thought about you sometimes, and what it would be like if you were... _more than that_.”

“ _More than that?_ ” Chuck asked, nearly cutting Trent off, staring down at his hands.

Trent nodded, “Yeah, like, I guess as a... _boyfriend_ or something. I don’t know. Just when I can’t sleep and stuff.” Trent would’ve felt embarrassed to say that to Chuck normally, but after what Chuck said to him yesterday, he figured he had no reason to be. 

Chuck didn’t respond, so Trent continued, “And I guess I still have feelings for you. But...you gotta figure out your self-hatred stuff. Like, I’m here for you, always, and I’ll help you if you think I can, but I’m not gonna,” Trent paused to think if his next words were too harsh, but chose to say them anyway, “I’m not gonna date you if you _hate yourself_ for _loving me_.”

Chuck sighed, putting his head in his hands, “No, yeah, that makes sense. I wouldn’t want to date someone who hates themself for loving me. I get that,” he nodded slowly, and the rest of his words caught in his throat.

Trent wrapped an arm around Chuck’s shoulders and pulled him against him, and Chuck allowed himself to fall against Trent, his head resting on Trent’s shoulder. He felt Trent rest his own his on top of Chuck’s, and they both sighed.

There were no more words for either of them to speak. Everything they had to say to each other had been said for now. They would, no doubt, have to discuss all of this further at a later time. But for now, they were both exhausted and emotional, and just wanted to be close to each other.

Chuck found his eyes growing heavy, and he felt a massive weight lift away from his shoulders. He hadn’t realized how his secret had been weighing him down until now. The whole world seemed to change in front of him at the admittance that he wasn’t straight, and even further at the admittance that he was in love with his best friend. For the first time in his entire life, he was beginning to feel more like an _actual person_.

**Author's Note:**

> lmao anyway yall know that one joan jett song? i hate myself for loving you? had that stuck in my head the whole time i wrote the ending of this


End file.
